How to begin again

5 years ago, I quit. I took off my pointe shoes, folded up my tights and leotard, and thought I would never look back. When I had started ballet, 8 years earlier, I thought this would be my career path - I would dance until I could dance no more. At age 15, I decided that I would no longer pursue becoming a principle dancer. I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me to join in work in other countries and pursue missionary work with my life. So I gave up, what I thought was selfish, laying down my talent to race after Jesus.

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I am a ballerina, not by profession, but by personality. In everything, I try to be graceful, strong, confident and passionate. I am kinesthetic and almost always moving. 

Many days I am sad that I quit, always wondering "what if" I had continued? What if I danced professionally for a few years? What if?

I have shed a few tears thinking about this. 

Just today, as I'm writing this, the Lord reminded me of what the past five years have looked like. Reminding me of things that I would not have done, had I continued in dance. Experiences living in New York, sacrificing sleep, comfort and space to create a change in the city. I moved there with a few other people, with one goal, to show love and hope to the children of God. He reminded me of my wonderful marriage and my husband's love for serving and Jesus. He reminded me of Africa, and my sweet little ones, who's names are written on my heart forever. 

Now I have rekindled my relationship with dance. We are together yet again. The Lord reminded me of my talent and passion and that I can use it for his glory, even in missions! We have a new goal in mind: A missionary dance school! I have been training really diligently for 6 months to audition for this school and just sent in my audition tape.. eek! And will continue training even harder. 

After my first recital in 5 years!

What are you pursuing right now? A dream? Something like me that doesn't seem attainable? 

What things can you change to get there?

I blog over at Dear Family, if you would like to say hi!